"An Ode to Hester"
By Nathanael Logsdon

Dear old friend of mine
You always were the best
And though you never looked so fine
You were queen of every jest!

Your crooked teeth and grubby clothes
Your broken pipe and ostritch plume
Were an awful sight as anyone knows
Yet they broke through any gloom

You gave the Brits a fearsome run
And Parsons, Gentlemen, Ladies all
You pilfered each and every one
And looked innocent when the guard they'd call

You were master of the lowest class
A true diamond "in the very rough"
You were always first to lift your glass (or anyone else's)
To fine Gents who said they'd had enough!

So now we'll all remember you
When'er we see such dirty hags
We'll wipe a tear and think of you
AND THEN WE'LL CHECK OUR BAGS!!!